Blogs > deepestfaith > Mesianic Viewpoints > The Love-Hate list

The Love-Hate list  

deepestfaith

4/20/2008 1:54 pm

Last Read:
12/9/2011 9:49 pm

Several months ago, at a couple’s retreat, we had the men and women separated. I had the men make 2 lists. First ones of things they wish they hadn’t done or do, and then a list of things why they love their spouse. It was an awakening to us all and made us think why we would ever do things on the smaller list when the 2nd was so much larger and powerful.

Just wanted to share it with all.

Being sarcastic to you
Criticizing your family and friends
Over committing to outside interests
Talking down to you
Using profanity or name-calling
Letting things go around the house
Criticizing the way you did things
Giving looks of disgust
Raising my voice in anger
Showing more attention to other things than you
Correcting you around others
Lecturing
Pressuring
Ignoring you
Breaking promises
Holding resentment about something you did
Being unsympathetic when you were tired, ill, upset, sad or frustrated
Not telling you that I love you
Not attending church as a family
Pushing for sex when we weren’t in harmony
Not being involved more with household chores and raising the kids
Unwilling to admit when I was wrong
Reading or watching pornography
Not eating meals with you
Complaining while doing something with you
Never going walking when you wanted to
Forgetting anniversaries and other special dates
Minimizing your efforts
Being impolite
Continuing bad habits (smoking)
Taking you for granted
Blaming you for most things
Being impatient
Monopolizing the TV
Being preoccupied with my agenda
Getting to involved with self-interests to the exclusion of you and the kids
Making jokes about you
Not consulting you on finances
Not fully appreciating all the many things you did as a mother, teacher and wife
Being unwilling to join you in things you enjoyed
Being unclean
Showing indifference instead or initiative and making plans
Not reading the Bible together

I am sure this list is just the tip of the iceberg, but helped me understand many of the reasons how men can harden their loves heart.
In the book 3:16 by Max Lacado, he, “’Moses permitted you to divorce your wives cause your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning’ Matt. 19:8, When one or both people in a marriage stop trusting God to save it, they sign its death certificate. They reject the very one that can help them.”
I believe rejecting God is one of the biggest causes of breakups and divorces..

List of 100 Reasons Why I Love You
(Compiled from all 28 men at the conference)
1. Your compassion for everyone around you
2.Your selflessness
3. Your integrity
4. Your strength
5. Your devotion
6. How you are always 100% honest no matter what
7. Your kindness
8. The way you always try to help others
9. Your generosity
10. Your gentleness
11. How you are always understanding with me even when I don’t deserve it
12. How much we share in common on the way we think about so many things.
13. How you make me smile even at times when I don’t want to
14. How you are always kind to animals
15. The fact that you aren’t afraid to cry
16. How you always help me when I need or ask you to and sometimes even when I don’t ask
17. How you are always concerned about my well-being
18. Your loyalty to everyone or everything that matters to you
19. The way you liven up a room just by being in it
20. How much you’ve taught me about life and myself
21. Your intelligence
22. Your zest for life
23. Your excellent people skills
24. Your amazing voice
25. Your awesome hair
26. Your incredible eyes
27. Your love of life
28. Your uncompromising belief in God, family, and country
29. The fact that you would make the best mother anyone could ever ask for or hope to have
30. The way you walk
31. The way you talk
32. The way you hold my hand
33. The way you hug me
34. The way you kiss me
35. The way you touch my foot with your’s in bed
36. The way we cuddle
37. The way that you always look for and find the positive in everything
38. The fact that there is nobody else in the world like you and nobody will ever come close
39. How you are always good at everything you put your mind to
40. The annoying fact that you are right 90+% of the time
41. All the amazing new experiences that I’ve shared for the first time with you and only you
42. The way you make me feel about myself
43.How you tell me and show me everyday how much you love me
44. How you don’t mind holding my hand or showing me affection even in public
45. How you sometimes give up things you’ve wanted just for other's benefit
46. The way you kiss me and touch me
47. The fact that you were willing to take a chance on me
48. The way you use to encourage and believe in me
49. Your faithfulness
50. The fact that you know how to be a real woman
51. The sweet gifts you’ve given to me
52. The way you open up your heart and life to me
53. The fact that I learn new amazing things about you everyday
54. The way you look at me and on rare occasion even now that makes me melt inside
55. The love you always show me
56. The way you always say awesome things about me to other people
57. How much excitement you bring into my life when I think about you
58. How you always bring out the best in me
59. How you don't take many of lifes little things for granted
60. The way you always still inspire me
61. The fact that you are the first and only person I’ve ever loved and the first person who ever truly loved me
62. The fact that you dream like me at times.
63. How forgiving you are
64. Your incredible big heart
65. How you know what to say and how to say it in any situation
66. The fact that I know you will be one of the most successful women in the world someday because no one deserves it more than you
67. How we always say or do the exact same thing at the same time
68. Your extreme patience with me even when I push it to the limit sometimes
69. Your charm and charisma
70. Your wisdom
71. How you always listen to me when I need an ear to listen
72. How awesome you have been to my parents and even my pets and how they all love you so much too
73. How cute and adorable you can be
74. Your determination and conviction and how once you set your mind on something nobody can change it
75. The dreams and visions you have for our future
76. How much you know about me now and that you’ve seen both my good sides and bad and that you still care for me and at times love me anyway
77. Your walk with God
78. Your praying for me
79. Your example to our children in their learning of Christ.
80. Your example to me in studying Gods words and doing the right things
81. The way you are my best friend even when I didn't deserve it
82. The way I can always trust you
83. The way I can make you laugh
84. The way you ooo and ahh at the beautiful things God made
85. The way you are my first thought so many mornings
86. The way you are my last thought so many evenings
87. The way I can come to you for advice when I have a problem
88. The way when I am having a tough time, thinking of you encourages me to do my best
89. The way you love to dance with me
90. The way your face brightens up when you see me
91. The excitement you show when I say Iove you
92. The way you use to squeeze my hand 3 times
93. Your great cooking and how you always thought it wasn't that good
94. The way you love go exploring new places with me on trips
95. The way you were never shy about anything with me
96. The way you put up with me when I am hard to put up with
97. The way you give the best back scratches
98. The way you moaned whenever I use to snuggle up to you in bed and just cuddle
99. The way you loved my massages
100.Every little single detail about you that makes you who you are and the fact that you are the best woman in the whole world

Bonus Reason 101. The fact that this list was so easy to write, but also so hard because I had to limit it to just 100 reasons when I can think of at least a million plus reasons why I love you and why I am the luckiest man in the world to have had you in most of my life and touching my world.

Just wanted to share this because I feel all women would want a man that could write this and I know me and most men would love God to send a woman that we felt this way about.

Blessings,
Michael

Christianity for Dummies: Chapter 4 : Go to Church
Christianity for Dummies: Chapter 3 : Sin and Repentence
Christianity for Dummies: Chapter 2 Salvation
Christianity for Dummies: Prologue and Chapter 1 : Praying
In the Heat of the Night: Testimony Chapter 4
Judging and Gossiping , Commitment and Covenant: For All (Part 15, 16 and End)
Commitment and Covenant: For All (Part 13 and 14) , Commitment and Covenant: For Men (Part 11 and 12 )
Commitment and Covenant: For Men (Part 9 and 10 ) , Commitment and Covenant: For Women (Part 8 )
Commitment and Covenant: For Women (Part 7) , Commitment and Covenant: For Women (Part 5 & 6)
Commitment and Covenant: Relationships (Part 4) , Commitment and Covenant: Relationships (Part 3)
Commitment and Covenant: Relationships (Part 1 & 2) , Walk the Walk
Self Esteem....and the 8-Cow Wife , I am a Christian…So What Now?
Communicating According to the Scriptures , Friend vs. Spouse
Christ in the cells of our body. , The Love-Hate list
whisper85
92 posts 

4/26/2008 1:30 am

Wow. very interesting writing, Deepest. Wish I would have read something like that when I was married. Thank you for posting. God bless you.

Whisper 85


deepestfaith replies on 4/26/2008 1:45 am:
Your welcome, at least you have it now fot the next one.

Indescribeable
8057 posts 

4/20/2008 6:33 pm

I think this list covers it all. Now if everyone could learn to practice these things it would be the miracle. Great post!

Sheri

BLOG COLOR FOR BEGINNERS


deepestfaith replies on 4/20/2008 10:18 pm:
Thank you Sheri for the kind comments. When God introduces me to my Ezer Kenegdo (helper) I plan on rereading this weekly. Half so that I never do anything in the first list and half to remind me of the many reason I love my united mate.
appreciate
10438 posts 

4/20/2008 6:32 pm

In black and white...what a women wouldn't do for a man who would say it out loud to her ever so often...is it harder for men to be expressive verbally... send me a list as an alternative anytime then...when there is affirmation from both sides...a marriage can flourish not forgetting God in the triangle of it all...thanks...

Man can make many plans...BUT it is the Lord who will direct his paths....


deepestfaith replies on 4/20/2008 10:06 pm:
Well said and thank you for the comments.

Blessings,
Michael
racefan4
10214 posts

4/20/2008 2:49 pm

Hi Michael,

Yes! Yes! Yes!
Thank you!
God bless you,

NOTHING that happens, happens for NOTHING

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deepestfaith replies on 4/20/2008 3:49 pm:
Glad you liked it.

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